Monday, November 27, 2006

Looking around

Sometimes I feel like playing a game. A game called "looking around", wherein I do precisely what the name suggests. I look around myself. Look at the people, their joys, their woes, their highs, their lows (My Fair lady anyone?), their pains, their sorrow .... A major aspect of the game being that I am not emotionally attached to any one of them. Their pains dont hurt me nor make me want to help them. Their joys dont make me jealous of them....more like watching a TV serial..only with the characters being real human beings and the story being their real lives.

In the game, I have the power to read their minds.. to know exactly what they are thinking. I have the knowledge to decide what is the best step for them to take....But I dont tell them what is good for them. And therein lies the pleasure(sadistic some might think!!)...To let them act in the way they wish to....To laugh and scorn at their wrong decisions, to applaud the correct ones...Doing all of this silently...not to let them know that they are being used for my entertainment! To let them think that there is actually a purpose to their lives..while the only purpose they serve is to provide me with an occasional diversion!

And then I think that I am not powerful enough to play this game....perhaps this game is not meant for me! But what if God(!!) created us because he felt a sudden, impulsive urge to "look around"! I wonder if this really was the purpose we human beings served, and if we knew many of us would then like to take the pains of actually living through the whole of our lives!!

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

The dream

She woke up with a start and looked around for a diverson in order to forget about the terrible dream. It was a pleasant day and she liked the way in which rays of the sun fell on the walls, on the mirrors...getting reflected around.. making picturesque patterns. Holding his picture to her bosom, she sat down thinking of the beautiful time they spent together, until the day he went away. Went away just like that.. did not even bother to say a few words to her. But she was particularly optimistic that he would come back today. She decided to cook some chicken with thick gravy....She started preparing it..half smiling to herself thinking of his reaction on finding his favourite dish prepared to celebrate his return...

Not once did she think of complaining about his absence...or about the way in which he left her. So much was her dedication towards him, that the idea of his coming back seemed to alleviate all pain. She was ready to leave her past behind...and start all over again. While the chicken was getting cooked, she decided to prepare some halwa.. he loved it so much! It would be a perfect day.. She sat down by the window and looked outside...waiting for him to return...remembering the old times. Lost in the thoughts, time flew for her...and soon the sun was about to set. In a way she was like the evening in her life after pleasant period of daylight which she had spent in his company!! She felt hungry.... reluctantly ate some of the food...and came back to sit by the window...

Soon it was dark and she fell asleep by the window. And then she was the exact same dream that she dreamt again and again after he had left! She dreamt of a normal day in her life....he was supposed to return that day from one of hs official visits! She prepared the chicken and the halwa....and went to the market to buy some grocery. It was on her way back that she saw him sitting on the backseat of a black mercedes, embracing a lady and fondling her with lust in his eyes. And then it was all in frames..not a continuous dream.....she could see herself in agony...too dumbfounded to cry!! She then recieved him with all love and tenderness when he came back.. and when he was finally asleep...that knife and those multiple stabs...were enough to lay him to sleep for ever. And she buried him in the backyard !!

This was more than she could take and she woke up with a start....Beads of sweat all over her face!! What if the dream is actually the truth, she thought to herself. No can't be!! She loved him so much....such things don't happen to happy couples! Certainly she had been watching lots of thrillers of late and it was all because of that.....She looked out of the window and once again hope seemed to make her forget all about the terrible dream! He would certainly come back today....and she got down to work again! She never cared enough about the dream to look into the backyard, where the mud was still loose because of all the digging that she once did in order to bury him!!

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Monty Pythonization of real life.

I was watching this Monty Python flick the other day, when this crazy idea struck me. What if we had characters from Monty Python amongst us! Yes actual people who think and act just like most of them in the Monty Python flicks. Just imagine a normal conversation between say a car salesman "A" and a customer "B", where A is not your normal salesman he has been Monty Pythonized. So B comes in looking to buy a car and is received by A.

A: Hello Sir! How can I help you today?
B: I am looking for a good car.
A: A car, Sir?
B: Yup!
A: Why don't you ride a horse instead!
B (thinking of it as a lame joke and smiling): Huh? A horse would be nice, but you see I need a car.
A: But why would someone buy a car when he can have a horse instead. Its so much more economical and then there is absolutely no pollution, well except for an occasional fart maybe.
B(trying to come straight to the point): How much would this one cost me?
A: But then horses fart every now and then. Not that your riding the horse is causing it to fart. Maybe a fart or two more than what it usually does, still nothing when compared to the pollution by a car! I would say hundred farting horses better than one polluting car.
B (obviously thinking that he is taking the joke a bit too far and slightly pissed but still faking a smile): So much for our little game. Now some serious business if you please. So I was asking about this black one....
A(cutting him short): Yes but horses do shit a lot and horse shit is not a very good thing to have lying around in your backyard. It smells real bad and is not particularly useful. You could probably use it as manure, though I for my part have not heard of anyone using horse shit for this purpose. But still whats a little shit here and there! Horse is still a better buy.
B(obviously pissed): I dont have the entire day to waste. Can you please cut short this lame joke of yours so that we can talk about the cars for a change.
A: Ohh I almost forgot. What about the horse peeing. Well now that I think of it, you can always train the horse to pee on your plants and then you need not water them. Come on pee is just water with some minerals. And think of it no oiling, no servicing and when it does leak,or lets say excrete, whatever comes out can be put to other uses. And when a car leaks you know how bad a mess is created, and how much cleaning is required. So...
B(very very pissed but still thinking of giving it one last try before leaving for gud): Nothing gets through to you does it? If this is your idea of having fun, then you have seriously chosen the wrong person to have fun with.
A: And then you can leave the horse grazing in someone else's backyard, so no expenditure on feeding it. With the gas prices rising the way they are these days, horse is certainly a much better buy.
B(#@@!!##): Wtf, I think I have changed my mind. Where can I get a horse!!
A: Are you serious? Who would buy a horse in this day and age when you have cars running at much faster speeds than the horses do....................................................

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Of Orkut and Orkuteers

Well with the amount of time I spend on Orkut, this one had to come pretty soon! No I wont be talking about how good or bad Orkut is when compared to other such social networking web sites, or why google needs Orkut, or for that matter how it is being used to gain access to our personal information and stuff ! Lets just accept that it exists (and shall continue to do so) and that most of us would actually waste time on it no matter what we may have to say about it. This is for those who wont mind having fun laughing on how hopeless others can be. So if you care for some shitty shitty that they actually go a full circle and become funny by the virtue of their mindblowing shittiness, you have come to the ryte place! And the pic on the left is the biggest inspiration for this post!

In this post I will talk about the five shittiest albums that I have come across on Orkut so far! I wont be posting direct links to the albums as it would be an inappropriate thing to do. I'll post the best pics from the album instead! Let's just dive right in, and somewhere along the way try and retain control of our senses.

The caption for this pic is " i m cool..very cool " !!! Yes sir we can very well understand that you are damn cool, and seriosuly this pic was not required to prove the fact! And for those who could not make it out, the pic at the top is from the album of this same person! And no points for guessing its caption " HEY...U R MY FRIEND NAA.... " :)!! Prabhuji's pics have the same enthralling effect on all those who visit his profile! His testimonial bears testimony to this fact. It says "hi prasoon i dont know much about u but 1 thing i can say,"u will be my best friend in coming future" ". So if you have similar feelings about Prabhuji after having seen two of his most marvellous pics do send him a friend request on orkut!! He even has a community called Prasoon's Dance Floor ( no I m not joking!). Here is how its description goes "dancing is most entertainment activity , which makes us fresh and if u like dance either doing or watching; join this community and imagine..... u r on dance floor." :D

2- The next dude seems obsessed with photoshop and has made the most ridiculous use of it!

I know you are dying to know the captions. Lets begin with the first pic. The caption says "
I am ready for fancy dress party ...... Yee Kay Boleti Tuu ????" !! The yee kay boleti tu bit is an open invitation for all u hotties out there! I know you all are dying to go out with him, and he is just a click away :)! The next one is relatively simple " yes !! it's my Style..... " is all it says!! And the last one says " yes !! She was the One...... but not Now..... "! Perhaps poor Aishwarya was not good enough for him, too bad for her !!

I had nearly split my sides laughing when I looked at this one for the first time. The caption says "Salman khan in making...."! Seriously dude with curves like you I would have packed my bags and ran away from home at the earliest to try my luck in films! Believe me you can give even Arnold a run for his money with your fat deposits at strategic places!!

4- He knows his potential and comes straight to the point. "
Arjun Rampal??" is all it says. Simple and to the point :). We all agree sir!
5- Well I had a hard time deciding the last pic. But then I finally chose this one for the sheer passion that it brings out! Just look at the passion with which the two guys are kissing the groom, and you feel as if the the three of them have just been united into holy matrimony, to have many memorable threesomes and to live happily ever after!!

And so it begins!!

My very first post! Why did I start blogging all of a sudden you might wonder....but then if I were not blogging you might as well wonder why dont I start a blog! The title of my blog explains precisely why this blog has been created....bas yun hi!! Though there might be an ulterior motive to this...the way my life has changed in the past few weeks I wud soon be needing a means to vent my emotions :) or maybe the motive is to start a new cult with me as the leader where in I type encrypted orders on this blog and my followers reply with encrypted comments!!

Where was I..yes my life..Life has changed and changed a lot! Its much more hectic than what it used to be during those golden undergraduate years back at IIT Kanpur..Now that I look back at all those days, I feel that it probably was the best time of my life! But then those who are quoted were particularly optimistic about the future as if everyone is bound to have a better tomorrow! As one of those stupid Lucy Larcom quotes said “Whatever with the past has gone, the best is always yet to come.” What the heck, even I can come up with quotes like these..but then who would quote me!! What I have learnt from my experience is the exact opposite of this shitty quote and can be summed up as “Whatever with the past has gone, the worst is always yet to come.” Just when you feel that life cant be much more miserable than wat it is, you find yourself in deeper shit than before!

Talking of quotes have u guys taken a look at this hillarious webpage
This same site has some interesting comments on IITs as well

Another thing which I feel is that there is always a quote related to anything and everything. This is because once a person becomes famous everything he says is quoted by others whether or not there is any sense in it. See for example this quote by Douglas Adams "It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes. " Dont you think you could have very well said something as foolish, come on if not potatoes you could have atleast blurted something like this with say tomatoes, onions or maybe strawberries!! But the point is why qoute.... express things in your own way rather than borrowing someone else's expression ! If you really need to quote someone quote me! Come to me with anything you need a quote on and I'll help you if you cant help yourself!