Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Monty Pythonization of real life.

I was watching this Monty Python flick the other day, when this crazy idea struck me. What if we had characters from Monty Python amongst us! Yes actual people who think and act just like most of them in the Monty Python flicks. Just imagine a normal conversation between say a car salesman "A" and a customer "B", where A is not your normal salesman he has been Monty Pythonized. So B comes in looking to buy a car and is received by A.

A: Hello Sir! How can I help you today?
B: I am looking for a good car.
A: A car, Sir?
B: Yup!
A: Why don't you ride a horse instead!
B (thinking of it as a lame joke and smiling): Huh? A horse would be nice, but you see I need a car.
A: But why would someone buy a car when he can have a horse instead. Its so much more economical and then there is absolutely no pollution, well except for an occasional fart maybe.
B(trying to come straight to the point): How much would this one cost me?
A: But then horses fart every now and then. Not that your riding the horse is causing it to fart. Maybe a fart or two more than what it usually does, still nothing when compared to the pollution by a car! I would say hundred farting horses better than one polluting car.
B (obviously thinking that he is taking the joke a bit too far and slightly pissed but still faking a smile): So much for our little game. Now some serious business if you please. So I was asking about this black one....
A(cutting him short): Yes but horses do shit a lot and horse shit is not a very good thing to have lying around in your backyard. It smells real bad and is not particularly useful. You could probably use it as manure, though I for my part have not heard of anyone using horse shit for this purpose. But still whats a little shit here and there! Horse is still a better buy.
B(obviously pissed): I dont have the entire day to waste. Can you please cut short this lame joke of yours so that we can talk about the cars for a change.
A: Ohh I almost forgot. What about the horse peeing. Well now that I think of it, you can always train the horse to pee on your plants and then you need not water them. Come on pee is just water with some minerals. And think of it no oiling, no servicing and when it does leak,or lets say excrete, whatever comes out can be put to other uses. And when a car leaks you know how bad a mess is created, and how much cleaning is required. So...
B(very very pissed but still thinking of giving it one last try before leaving for gud): Nothing gets through to you does it? If this is your idea of having fun, then you have seriously chosen the wrong person to have fun with.
A: And then you can leave the horse grazing in someone else's backyard, so no expenditure on feeding it. With the gas prices rising the way they are these days, horse is certainly a much better buy.
B(#@@!!##): Wtf, I think I have changed my mind. Where can I get a horse!!
A: Are you serious? Who would buy a horse in this day and age when you have cars running at much faster speeds than the horses do....................................................


fiddler said...

hmmm..interesting, very interesting ! we could do with a few skits based on your scripts..really good !

jj said...

:) thanks!

Abhinav Agrawal said...

waah angrez waah!!
end was really goooood

jj said...

dhanyawad aapka

vijay said...

chaape ho mast ekdum :P

Abhinav Agrawal said...

bhai kuch naya likho

jj said...

Vijay bhai aapka bhi dhanyawad!

@Abhinav: jald hi naya likhta hun!!